Title: Deeper We Fall
Published: January 24th, 2013
Author: Chelsea M. Cameron
Two years after her best friend was involved in a car accident that caused a traumatic brain injury, Lottie Anders is ready to start her freshman year of college. Ready to move on. Ready to start forgetting the night that ripped her life apart.
Her plans come to a screeching halt when not one, but both brothers responsible for the accident end up back in her life again.
Zack is cruel, selfish and constantly rubbing what happened to her friend in Lottie's face.
Zan is different. He listens to her awkward ramblings. He loves "To Kill a Mockingbird" as much as she does, and his dark eyes are irresistible. His words are few and far between, but when he does speak, she can't help but listen.
The trouble is, Zan was the driver in the accident, and now Lottie's discovered he lied to her about what happened that night. Now she must decide if trusting him again will lead to real forgiveness, or deeper heartache.
“I begged for the rain to somehow wash me away. Wash the last two years away. Wash away the memories and all the shit that happened until I was back to the way I'd been.”
I am such a sucker for an emotionally unsettling story. They suck me, chew me up, and spit me out. And I love every heart shredding moment of it. The turmoil in this book is serious. I was feeling confused about my feelings for certain characters, much like Lottie. I really love the way Chelsea lets a relationship develop. There's no instant love. It's realistic, slowly building, emotionally fueled and completely confusing. Deeper We Fall is all of these things, and much more.
Lottie wants nothing more for Zan, and his brother Zack, to just disappear from her life. She didn't plan on ending up in the same college as the two brothers. She didn't plan on her roommate being hung up on Zack. And she definitely didn't plan on her attraction to Zan. Lottie spends a lot of trying to avoid Zan and Zack. She can't let go of the hatred she feels for the brothers, but she can't deny that there's something about Zan that draws her in, like a moth to the flame. Lottie is a very likeable character. She's naïve, but not stupid. She's sensitive, yet tough. She's just stubborn enough to make you want to slap her a couple times.
“I ran until it was so dark I couldn't even see where to put my feet. I fell a bunch of times, but I got up and kept going. My hands were scraped raw, as were my knees.”
This quote seemed like such a great metaphor for Zan's life. He's been through so much, come out damaged, but he doesn't stop. He has been dealing with guilt of the accident for years. He's been drowning his guilt in girls and drugs, and he's finally ready to move past everything when he sees Lottie again. She brings him right back to that night, right back to all the things he was running from for so long.
“'You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don't.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.'
You're not the only one with regrets.”
The secondary characters! Oh, how I love them. I cannot stress enough how much I love a good secondary character, and this book had multiple amazing characters. Lottie's twin brother Will and his best friend, Simon, were hilarious. Trish, Lottie's work friend is someone I can see myself being friends with. Then there's Stryker. Oh yea, I love me some Stryker.
Katie, Lottie's roommate, went from being a character I hated to being a character I love. I even had a little Twitter conversation with Chelsea where I referred to Katie as “pinkzilla”. But she grew on me like a little pink parasite and I came to love her. I can't wait to read Faster We Burn, which will have Katie as the main character[I won't say more an spoil anything!].
Zack. I don't even know what to say about him, except I did not like him. I still don't. There's a difference between someone who makes bad choices and someone who IS a bad choice. Zack is definitely a bad choice. He's everything you wouldn't want in a friend, brother, or boyfriend.
Here's my favorite quote from the book. It's somewhat personal for me, but I feel the need to share.
“Why do girls do these things?”
“Because boys know how to push all the right buttons. They say the right things and make us feel special, and then they touch you and it's like you think you're going to die from how good it feels. And it does feel good for a while.”
Deeper We Fall is a great story with a lot of emotionally charged moments that beg you to feel something.